I’ve been contemplating this post for some time. I wanted to return to you all, but just couldn’t figure out HOW to come back. Jumping right in, as if I had never been gone? No, it doesn’t seem right. Maybe the best way to return is to tell you where I have been.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” Psalm 23:4a
The last few months have been a journey. A journey into the deepest darkest parts of my being and back out again.
Some of you know my family went through a big transition this last year. After living in the Northwest for my entire life, my husband’s job offered him a transfer to the Midwest. After much discussion and prayer, we moved across the country in July of 2013, far away from our families and all we have known for our entire lives.
And if you watch the news, you may also know about the severe winter the Midwest experienced. In Oregon we got “snow days”. In the Midwest we get “it’s-so-cold-you-cannot-be-outside-longer-than-5-minutes-without-frostbite days”. Ouch.
What you probably don’t know (unless you are my personal friend or family, which is probably 90% of my readers) is my lifelong struggle with anxiety and depression. Fear is my almost constant companion. I have learned over the years how to “be my own therapist”, talk myself down when I feel my fears trying to take over. After a dark, cold winter and spending the holidays away from extended family, I felt myself falling into that deep dark valley. By the end of March I had to make a choice, take medication, or go to the hospital. (I am aware using medications for mental illness, for that is what depression and anxiety are, can be a “hot” topic. For me, they work, combined with therapy, exercise and diet.)
In the state I was in, blogging was not my first priority. Taking care of my boys, my husband, my home, and most importantly, myself, was of the utmost importance. I also felt I could not encourage you as I want from this place.
I am quite happy to say I am in a much better place today. Along with pulling me out of the muck and mire, we are also working on my own ADD. (Being a mom with ADD, raising boys with ADD/ADHD…a little chaos is natural.) I am so thankful for the many friends and family who have prayed for me and came along side me during this experience.
“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.” Philippians 4:13,14
I hope I may continue to encourage all of you as I share my experiences, my thoughts, my great adventure.